I’m bad enough at golf already.  I don’t need this to worry about.

Just because it doesn’t get cold in Singapore, doesn’t mean we don’t get sick.  Now that school has begun, the germies are serving up their nasty fun to kids all over the island. 

It started shortly after school was over on Friday with the middle little Stockdale.  It has now been passed around the horn and is in full swing with all the little Stockdales.

Mrs. Stockdale is conveniently throwing some  ‘shrimp on the barbie’ with a bunch of kangaroos and today is the assistant Stockdale’s day off.  It’s like I need to care for my own offspring or something nutty like that.

http://www.economist.com/node/16881791

Someday, I’ll get credit for this.  Or, maybe not.

Lately at the Stockdale residence, there has been a battle waging.   The outcome of this contest is just as historically meaningful as other monumental fights such as dog versus mailman, kilometer versus mile, East Side versus West Side, KU versus Mizzou, Pelosi versus Boehner, Tom versus Jerry, Itchy versus Scratchy, Vader versus Kenobi, peanut butter versus chocolate, Google versus that other search engine company, or Perry the Platypus versus Doctor Doofenshmirtz. 

I am, of course, referring to water diet versus Assistant Stockdale!

The water diet has served me well over the last few months.  I’m still down about 5-7 kilograms ( that’s equal to some random number of pounds ) since we left Kansas.  However, the only thing keeping me there is training for Ironman Arizona.   Today, I rode my bike 74 miles on the training stand.  ( Finally got the chance to watch Charlie Wilson’s War and The DaVinci Code.   It was a Tom Hanks marathon.  Charlie Wilson, thumbs up.  DaVinci Code, ehh. )  I don’t know what the heck I was thinking when Sean and Brian convinced me this was a good idea.

Diametrically opposed to the water diet and my training is the Assistant Stockdale.  What kinds of weapons are in the Assistant Stockdale’s vast arsenal?  She starts out luring you into a false sense of security with homemade blueberry muffins, then she hits you with sticky rice when you’re not looking.  From there it’s curried prawns, homemade pizza with the recipe from Mrs. Stockdale’s brother’s restaurant, and chicken fried rice.  However, when she finally has you on the ropes and wants to go for the death-blow, she launches HOMEMADE SOFT PRETZELS from SCRATCH.  They’re like you died and went to the Auntie Anne’s at the mall.

How long can the water diet maintain its defensive posture?  Probably until my race in November.  After that it’s weaknesses will start to show, but it may hang on until Half Ironman Singapore in March.  Then, my prediction is the water diet throws up the French flag and surrenders. 

It will have been a long battle.  It will have been a noble fight.  It will have been much more justifiable than reforming health care with a bill nobody read and wrecking a huge chunk of the US economy, but when the smoke clears and the Assistant Stockdale’s gun keeps adding bullets, her cooking will be a force to strong to resist.

You hear the term ‘fat and happy’ more often than ‘skinny and happy’, so it must be true.  Viva la Assistant Stockdale!

After 104 days of Summer vacation, school has come around just to end it, so the final salvation for our Dale Stockdale, is finding a good way to spend it, like maybe . . .

Playing some golf, or taking a nap, or playing some golf, or playing some golf.

Finding a golf course that doesn’t exist, or taking a nap, or playing some golf.

Taking a nap, or playing some Xbox, or taking another nap.

Playing some golf, or riding a bike, or driving the Assistant insane!

So,  you can see, there’s a whole lot of stuff to do before school ends next Spring.   So, stick with me because Dale Stockdale is going to do nothing.  So, stick with me because Dale Stockdale is going to do nothing.

The big little Stockdale lost a tooth today.  This was the first tooth lost by a Stockdale in a foreign country.  It also breaks the tie and puts the big little Stockdale ahead of the middle little Stockdale in the tooth losing battle 3 to 2.

Mrs. Stockdale is in Korea.  I hope the tooth fairy remembers to stay awake we moved to Asia.

No, I’m not referring to Mrs. Stockdale’s parents coming for a visit, ‘overstayers’ are what illegal immigrants are called in Singapore.  Here, if you are caught ‘overstaying’, you are jailed AND caned.

http://www.straitstimes.com/BreakingNews/Singapore/Story/STIStory_564787.html

Also, if an ‘overstayer’ has a child while in Singapore, the child has no legal right to citizenship in Singapore.  Additionally, children legally born in Singapore to non-residents (if Mrs. Stockdale and I were naive enough to go for another crazy little Stockdale) have NO rights to citizenship in Singapore.  If we had another little Stockdale, that little Stockdale is a citizen of the USA.  Children born to foreign parents have no citizenship in Singapore.

Not trying to take the Adventures down a political road.  Just showing how things are handled.  And, for the record, you can chew gum in Singapore.  You just can’t buy it or sell it or stick it on the subway cars.

We recently got an addition to the Stockdale family.  Please welcome Fudge the Hamster Stockdale.

Fudge the Hamster Stockdale was adopted from a neighbor girl who moved to Jakarta.  The little Stockdales had been demanding a pet since our arrival in Singapore.  We were advised to go for a guinea pig by a pet expert.  However, guinea pigs can live for 5-7 years, versus 2 years for Fudge the Hamster Stockdale.  And, Fudge the Hamster Stockdale was free.   Advantage, Fudge the Hamster Stockdale!

I’m sure he’ll have many exciting adventures and a long and fruitful life with the Stockdales.

Monday, August 9th is National Day in Singapore.  It’s like the 4th of July and Thanksgiving wrapped into one.  There are parades and tanks and flags and jets and fireworks and marching.  Last year they staged a mock terrorist attack to show how prepared they were.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_Day_Parade

Not sure what the Stockdales are going to do to celebrate.  Virtually every person I’ve asked has told me to avoid the chaos and watch it on television.  Television, is there nothing it can’t do?

Imagine if the United States Postal Service owned a chain of pawn shops?  Imagine no further, because in Singapore,  you can live the dream!

http://www.singpost.com/speedcash/index.htm

On an extra tight budget during the festive season?  Need money to tide over your educational expenses? Short of cash to settle your essential bills? Got an emergency medical bill to pay? Require temporary assistance for the working capital of your business?

Whatever your short-term cash needs are, you can take care of them with SpeedCash. Instant, easy and convenient, SpeedCash is the modern way to get cash loans on the spot. Just leave a piece of gold jewellery with us while you take your time to tide over your cash needs. There are no forms to fill, no credit checks needed and no waiting for approval.

SpeedCash is a service offered by Singapore Post. SingPost has been serving you for more than 180 years. You know you can trust us for our honest and transparent way of doing business. Backed by world-class efficiency, an excellent infrastructure and the use of modern technology, SpeedCash is the new way to get cash loans. So if you need instant cash, think SpeedCash, because you can count on us.

SpeedCash is licenced under the Pawnbrokers Act of Singapore.

I doubt you’ll find ‘Big Hoss’ and the ‘Old Man’ behind the counter, but it might be worth a visit.  (And yes, for some reason, I am fixated on the post office here.)