Please note the monkeys have begun their plans for invasion and domination of our world.  Where is Charlton Heston when we need him?

Over the weekend, Mrs. Stockdale and I went to Oktoberfest at the Swiss Club.  I could try to describe the whole thing, but instead  I’ll just let the poorly snapped pictures and videos I took on my phone describe the experience.  ( You’ll need to click the above link to enbiggen and watch the movies. )

First obey the rules.

Then, enjoy the music.

That football ( metric soccer ) classic:    ‘Ole – Ole – Ole – Ole’.

Then there is Mrs. Stockdale’s doing the Chicken Dance.

When I think German music, I think ’99 Luft Balloons’.

And, of course, Sweet Home Alabama.

And what Oktoberfest would complete without ‘YMCA’?

Or, ‘Hang On Sloopy’?  ( Please note Mrs. Stockdale attempting to spell O-H-I-O. )

Oh, and then there was the Rob Stewart impersonator.

Is that a pomelo on the crazy little Stockdale’s head or is she just happy to see me?

A pomelo is a cross between a grapefruit and a watermelon.  Otherwise, why would you wear it like a hat?

There is a reason they put those silly snake signs up.

Just when I get to the point where I think that I can’t see anything stranger than whatever goofy thing I saw last week, I see stuff like this:

This is a hen ( metric chicken ) that I saw walking down the street, followed by a bunch of baby hens ( metric chicks ).  There were no farms around.  It was just a normal urban street surrounded by cars, buses, and lots of people.  Yep, makes sense to me.

You can outsource a call center to India.  You can contract manufacturing to rural China.  But, did you know you can outsource even the most cherished parental responsibilities?

For the last few years, I’ve been attempting to teach the middle little Stockdale how to ride a tw0-wheeler.  While she responds reasonably well to her teachers, the middle little Stockdale completely refuses to learn ANYTHING from Mrs. Stockdale and I.  Regardless of what we are trying to convey to her, she wants nothing to do with it.  Actually, I don’t blame her, but that is beside the point.

One of the guys I play golf with told me about Mr. Edmunds at Hon Kah Trading.  ( www.cyclinglesson.com.sg )  For the low,low price of $200SGD you get four one hour bike riding lessons and a guarantee that you child will be riding on two wheels.  Let’s just say this guy is a genius on many levels.

Basically, he pads the kids up, sticks them on the bike, he gets on his bike next to them and away they go!  At first he pulls them along by holding onto their handle bars.  Within about five minutes the middle little Stockdale was riding on her own.  By the end of her first lesson, she was almost self-sufficient.  By the end of the last lesson, she was a fully functional little kid on a two-wheeler.   Granted the only place she can really ride in Singapore is in the parking garage under our building, but at least she can ride while it is raining.

The other interesting part of the bike lessons was getting a closer view of life for the ordinary Singaporean.  Most of the population live in what are known as HDB ( Housing Development Board ) flats.  These are four and five-room apartments that are sold to residents through a partnership between private developers, banks, and the government.  Relative to the private property market, these flats are reasonably priced ($250,000 – $500,000 USD) and come with mortgages in the 1-2% range.  There are a variety of income requirements, residency restrictions, and rules around the system.  Regardless it works pretty well in Singapore.  Most newly married couples in Singapore live for a short period with one of their parents and then purchase an HDB flat.  The HDB flat is the closest thing to the suburbs you will find in Singapore.

Mr. Edmunds bike shop is at the bottom of an HDB development.  Most of these have a small amount of retail on the first level.  These include grocery stores ( 7/11’s are EVERYWHERE ), restaurants, tutors ( tutors are EVERYWHERE ), and random things like bike shops.  Mr. Edmunds seems like a local hero his building.  He keeps a bunch of old bikes outside his shop for the kids to ride and I have a feeling my tuition payment was subsidizing the bicycle riding skills of the entire neighborhood.

While growing up in something like an HDB flat in the States would be terrible because of loud neighbors, litter, and the crime that always seems to follow high population densities.  In Singapore, it works.  The place looked clean, safe, and everyone seemed to know each other.

Singapore is successful, in large part, because it’s residents respect each other, at least at the basic levels.  I’m not saying there aren’t problems or that everyone is friends, but I would say problems are isolated and dealt with accordingly.

Dear Procter & Gamble,

If you want to sell more detergent in Asia, you might try charging a tad less.

This isn’t even the monster sized bottle I used to buy at Costco.  Just sayin’.

Your pal,

Dale Stockdale

No, not that ‘New Moon’, the other ‘New Moon’.

New Moon Essence of Chicken is full of wholesome and nourishing goodness. It will assist to increase your metabolic rate and thus help to relieve fatigue and restore your mental and physical energy .This natural health supplements have been proven to provide added proteins to your body, to last you through the day. New Moon Essence of Chicken is a better alternative to other supplements and thus we are confident to say “New Generation, New Choice!”

This is actually a fairly premium product.  So much so, that you can’t just pick it up in the aisle of the grocery store.   They keep it behind the check-out with the hard alcohol and cigarettes.

So, when I think of the phrase ‘essence of chicken’, it sounds to me like there is NO chicken in this.  If something is the ‘essence of’ something, then it is ‘like’ something or ‘immitates’ something.  If it had chicken in it, it wouldn’t be called ‘essence of chicken’ it would be called ‘chicken.’  And, if this stuff is better than chicken, why don’t we eat whatever that is, instead of chicken?  But, if chicken is good and it is good to immitate chicken, then couldn’t I just skip this stuff and just eat the real thing?

Also, who is this girl?  She got a perfect score on her SAT test, so they let her be the spokesperson?  How does she buy this stuff if it is next to the cigarettes and booze?