Guess what you get if you play in a charity golf outing?

Buy a new camera, get a tote bag.

Buy accessories for said camera, get another freakin’ tote bag.

The polar bears are drowning as we speak.  If only I could buy carbon offsets for all my tote bags.

When riding in a cab in Singapore, you have a variety of transportation options:

1. The cab can hold four adults.
2. The cab can hold three adults and two children.
3. The cab can hold two adults and three children.
4. The cab can hold one adult and four children.
5. Or, you can just cram all six of your kids in the cab and send them on their merry way.  Just make sure one of the kids has some cash.

You all have fun with this

and this

Meanwhile, we’ll have this.  Please note the variety.

Perhaps in a few years I’ll miss the white stuff, the school cancellations, the messy garages, and Big Government’s yellow snow.  However for now, I’m going to go for a swim after I drop the kids at the bus.  I might do the same tomorrow and the day after that.

Normally, Mrs. Stockdale isn’t the best giver of Christmas presents.  She does a pretty good job of getting them, but that’s about it.  This year, however, was different.  I got two great gifts worth mentioning:

and

Granted, I did buy one for myself.  The question is, which one?

To ring in the new year, the Stockdales watched ‘Barbie in Mermaidia’ last night.  Truly a classic, but not at good as ‘Barbie and the Diamond Castle’ or ‘Barbie and the 12 Dancing Princesses.’

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barbie:_Mermaidia

Then, Mrs. Stockdale fell asleep on the couch at about 9:15 pm.  Not a creature was stirring by 9:45 pm.  When we awoke to the middle little Stockdale at 7:15 am it was 2011.

The ball hasn’t even dropped in America yet.  So, here’s wishing all our friends and family a happy and healthy 2011 from the future!  Tell Dick Clark hello from the Stockdales.

In your misguided war to save the environment by eliminating plastic bags ( the most useful free item on the face on the planet ), here is the monster you have created.

Run a marathon, get a free tote bag.

Run a 5k to help the reformed prisoners, get a free tote bag.

Buy some bread, get a free tote bag.

Your wife runs a marathon, she gets a free tote bag.

Your wife runs a 5k to help reform some prisoners, she gets a tote bag.

Buy some more bread, get another tote bag.

Use some random company to move to Singapore, get a tote bag.

Send a kid to camp, get a tote bag.

Buy some software, get a tote bag.

Buy some sandals, get a tote bag.

Do an Ironman, get a tote bag.

Buy even more bread, get a tote bag.

This doesn’t even include the 10-20 of these things I’ve thrown away over the years.  Plus, every time I throw one away, I put it inside a regular plastic bag out of spite, just to take up more room in the landfill. 

Remember the road to hell is paved with good intentions, not common sense.  And according to some dead French guy named Voltaire, common sense is not so common.  And according to Groundskeeper Willie, the French are nothing but cheese eating surrender monkeys.  So, it goes without saying that the Simpsons should be consulted on all environmental matters.

Personally, I have more faith in something I see on the Simpsons than 90% of what I’m told is wrong with the Earth.  Letting Mr. Burns build 100-200 nuclear reactors is really what our country needs, not reusable bags and that Prius thing.

The Singapore Flyer is the largest observation (that’s metric for ferris) wheel in the world.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Singapore_Flyer

It is situated across from the Singapore central business district and provides a great view of downtown, the port, and the island in general.  On a clear day, you can see for kilometers (that’s metric for miles).

Since Mrs. Stockdale’s folks are gung-ho on tourist type stuff, we took the whole Stockdale clan for a ride. 

And of course, since we were in a ferris wheel, we made Mrs. Stockdale do her trick.

More on the Stockdale family Christmas vacation later, but first the important stuff.

If you think Mrs. Stockdale read this sign . . .

or this sign . . .

then you would be wrong . . .

In America, if there is construction work on the street, they erect giant cones and barriers all around to prevent the public from getting anywhere close to the horrible danger.  In Singapore, you just walk around the sparks.

If you asked, he’d probably let you do some welding.