Dear Procter & Gamble,

If you want to sell more detergent in Asia, you might try charging a tad less.

This isn’t even the monster sized bottle I used to buy at Costco.  Just sayin’.

Your pal,

Dale Stockdale

No, not that ‘New Moon’, the other ‘New Moon’.

New Moon Essence of Chicken is full of wholesome and nourishing goodness. It will assist to increase your metabolic rate and thus help to relieve fatigue and restore your mental and physical energy .This natural health supplements have been proven to provide added proteins to your body, to last you through the day. New Moon Essence of Chicken is a better alternative to other supplements and thus we are confident to say “New Generation, New Choice!”

This is actually a fairly premium product.  So much so, that you can’t just pick it up in the aisle of the grocery store.   They keep it behind the check-out with the hard alcohol and cigarettes.

So, when I think of the phrase ‘essence of chicken’, it sounds to me like there is NO chicken in this.  If something is the ‘essence of’ something, then it is ‘like’ something or ‘immitates’ something.  If it had chicken in it, it wouldn’t be called ‘essence of chicken’ it would be called ‘chicken.’  And, if this stuff is better than chicken, why don’t we eat whatever that is, instead of chicken?  But, if chicken is good and it is good to immitate chicken, then couldn’t I just skip this stuff and just eat the real thing?

Also, who is this girl?  She got a perfect score on her SAT test, so they let her be the spokesperson?  How does she buy this stuff if it is next to the cigarettes and booze?

I’m bad enough at golf already.  I don’t need this to worry about.

Just because it doesn’t get cold in Singapore, doesn’t mean we don’t get sick.  Now that school has begun, the germies are serving up their nasty fun to kids all over the island. 

It started shortly after school was over on Friday with the middle little Stockdale.  It has now been passed around the horn and is in full swing with all the little Stockdales.

Mrs. Stockdale is conveniently throwing some  ‘shrimp on the barbie’ with a bunch of kangaroos and today is the assistant Stockdale’s day off.  It’s like I need to care for my own offspring or something nutty like that.

http://www.economist.com/node/16881791

Someday, I’ll get credit for this.  Or, maybe not.

Lately at the Stockdale residence, there has been a battle waging.   The outcome of this contest is just as historically meaningful as other monumental fights such as dog versus mailman, kilometer versus mile, East Side versus West Side, KU versus Mizzou, Pelosi versus Boehner, Tom versus Jerry, Itchy versus Scratchy, Vader versus Kenobi, peanut butter versus chocolate, Google versus that other search engine company, or Perry the Platypus versus Doctor Doofenshmirtz. 

I am, of course, referring to water diet versus Assistant Stockdale!

The water diet has served me well over the last few months.  I’m still down about 5-7 kilograms ( that’s equal to some random number of pounds ) since we left Kansas.  However, the only thing keeping me there is training for Ironman Arizona.   Today, I rode my bike 74 miles on the training stand.  ( Finally got the chance to watch Charlie Wilson’s War and The DaVinci Code.   It was a Tom Hanks marathon.  Charlie Wilson, thumbs up.  DaVinci Code, ehh. )  I don’t know what the heck I was thinking when Sean and Brian convinced me this was a good idea.

Diametrically opposed to the water diet and my training is the Assistant Stockdale.  What kinds of weapons are in the Assistant Stockdale’s vast arsenal?  She starts out luring you into a false sense of security with homemade blueberry muffins, then she hits you with sticky rice when you’re not looking.  From there it’s curried prawns, homemade pizza with the recipe from Mrs. Stockdale’s brother’s restaurant, and chicken fried rice.  However, when she finally has you on the ropes and wants to go for the death-blow, she launches HOMEMADE SOFT PRETZELS from SCRATCH.  They’re like you died and went to the Auntie Anne’s at the mall.

How long can the water diet maintain its defensive posture?  Probably until my race in November.  After that it’s weaknesses will start to show, but it may hang on until Half Ironman Singapore in March.  Then, my prediction is the water diet throws up the French flag and surrenders. 

It will have been a long battle.  It will have been a noble fight.  It will have been much more justifiable than reforming health care with a bill nobody read and wrecking a huge chunk of the US economy, but when the smoke clears and the Assistant Stockdale’s gun keeps adding bullets, her cooking will be a force to strong to resist.

You hear the term ‘fat and happy’ more often than ‘skinny and happy’, so it must be true.  Viva la Assistant Stockdale!

After 104 days of Summer vacation, school has come around just to end it, so the final salvation for our Dale Stockdale, is finding a good way to spend it, like maybe . . .

Playing some golf, or taking a nap, or playing some golf, or playing some golf.

Finding a golf course that doesn’t exist, or taking a nap, or playing some golf.

Taking a nap, or playing some Xbox, or taking another nap.

Playing some golf, or riding a bike, or driving the Assistant insane!

So,  you can see, there’s a whole lot of stuff to do before school ends next Spring.   So, stick with me because Dale Stockdale is going to do nothing.  So, stick with me because Dale Stockdale is going to do nothing.

The big little Stockdale lost a tooth today.  This was the first tooth lost by a Stockdale in a foreign country.  It also breaks the tie and puts the big little Stockdale ahead of the middle little Stockdale in the tooth losing battle 3 to 2.

Mrs. Stockdale is in Korea.  I hope the tooth fairy remembers to stay awake we moved to Asia.

No, I’m not referring to Mrs. Stockdale’s parents coming for a visit, ‘overstayers’ are what illegal immigrants are called in Singapore.  Here, if you are caught ‘overstaying’, you are jailed AND caned.

http://www.straitstimes.com/BreakingNews/Singapore/Story/STIStory_564787.html

Also, if an ‘overstayer’ has a child while in Singapore, the child has no legal right to citizenship in Singapore.  Additionally, children legally born in Singapore to non-residents (if Mrs. Stockdale and I were naive enough to go for another crazy little Stockdale) have NO rights to citizenship in Singapore.  If we had another little Stockdale, that little Stockdale is a citizen of the USA.  Children born to foreign parents have no citizenship in Singapore.

Not trying to take the Adventures down a political road.  Just showing how things are handled.  And, for the record, you can chew gum in Singapore.  You just can’t buy it or sell it or stick it on the subway cars.

We recently got an addition to the Stockdale family.  Please welcome Fudge the Hamster Stockdale.

Fudge the Hamster Stockdale was adopted from a neighbor girl who moved to Jakarta.  The little Stockdales had been demanding a pet since our arrival in Singapore.  We were advised to go for a guinea pig by a pet expert.  However, guinea pigs can live for 5-7 years, versus 2 years for Fudge the Hamster Stockdale.  And, Fudge the Hamster Stockdale was free.   Advantage, Fudge the Hamster Stockdale!

I’m sure he’ll have many exciting adventures and a long and fruitful life with the Stockdales.