This morning I went for a quick jog and came across a poster for the ‘Yellow Ribbon Prison Run’.  I got home, checked out the website, and it was so bizarre, I just went ahead and signed Mrs. Stockdale and I up for the race.

http://www.yellowribbonprisonrun.sg/

Here’s the decription:

The Yellow Ribbon Prison Run is back with a new twist!  Show your support for ex-offenders who sincerely want to change by purchasing your Yellow Ribbon Shoelace at $2.00 when you register and help us set a record for the “Largest number of runners wearing yellow shoelaces!”. All proceeds will be donated to the Yellow Ribbon Fund.

Vending machine haircut for the big little Stockdale – CHECK.

Vending machine haircut for the middle little Stockdale – CHECK.

Horked off Mrs. Stockdale – CHECK.

For the record, Pat did a fine job, and if I had hair, Pat would cut it for me.

Today, the big little Stockdale and I went to Mustafa.

No, MuSTAFA, not MuFASA.  What the heck is Mustafa?  It’s the most bizarre retail store I’ve ever seen. 

http://www.mustafa.com.sg/index.asp
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mustafa_Centre

Remember my Singapore retail analogy of the giant throwing aisles of the Target in various directions ( https://adventuresofdalestockdale.com/2010/06/01/i-miss-target/ ).  Instead, imagine a Wal-Mart, and a bank, and a travel agent, and a flea market, and another Wal-Mart, and a Sears, and a Dicks, and another flea-market, and a Blockbuster, and the nicest jewelery store in town, and a farmers market, and an Autozone, and a grocery store all thrown in a blender, poured into a 6 story gymnasium and open 24 hours a day.   That is Mustafa.

Do you want Poptarts at 3:00 am on a Tuesday during a blackout?  You can grab the strawberry frosted, a toaster oven, and a generator.   Need a gold bar on your way to work – Mustafa has it.  Want to change some Euro’s into Thai Baht for an upcoming trip to Phuket – Mustafa!  How about some tacky gold necklaces, Christmas lights, or a fountain?  Dishes, shaving cream, pots, pans, cricket bat, nuts, soup, televisions, shoes, dresses, fruits, vegetables, toys, computers, picture frames, tuxedos –  there is virtually nothing you can’t buy in this store.

However, you must find it before you buy it.   To call their layout haphazard, chaotic, or random really wouldn’t even begin to describe the bizarness of how they have the place ‘organized’.  There is some thought.  You can tell that similar things are in certain regions of the store for a reason, but that is about it.  All the dishwashers are together, but they aren’t anywhere near similar appliances like stoves or refrigerators.  Dishwashers are logically next to fans, which should be near soup.  Gold necklaces are conveniently next to toys which should be across from fruits and vegetables.  All the cleaning products are actually together ( laundry detergent, dishwasher detergent, glass cleaner, etc. ) but they are also on the 4th floor next to CDs, DVDs, and VHS tapes.  ( Think of the joy of dragging a 15 kg box of laundry detergent down four escalators to a taxi-cab. )  It’s almost like they would have been better off just putting everything in alphabetical order.

We bought Mrs. Stockdale some cashews and almonds and the big little Stockdale got some Oreos for putting up with this trip.  It took us five minutes to find a place to pay.  The check outs are hidden throughout the store.  There was, what appeared to be, a regular cash register.  The cashier rang up our purchase and the total was $27.80.  I gave her a $50.  She opened a regular old drawer under the cash register ( like a kitchen drawer ), put my $50 toward the back, and rooted around in a giant pile of bills until she found my change.  For security purposes, our items were placed in a plastic bag with a zip tie pulled tightly around the top.  No one would ever figure a way around that system.

To add to the confusion, Mustafa is just outside of Little India.  This means that traffic is gridlocked a fair portion of the day, and there is no parking garage.

Like I said once before, sometimes it’s like Homer Simpson runs this place.

Happy 4th of July!   Have a few burgers and beverages for the Stockdales.  Just a regular day over here.

Yes, you read that correctly, today the Crazy Little Stockdale got a haircut from a vending machine at the mall.  Mrs. Stockdale was at work, which was the only reason this was allowed to occur. 

Here’s how it works.  First insert a $10 bill ( only a $10 bill, not two $5’s, not a bunch of $2’s, not a roll of quarters ) into the machine.   The machine gives you a card.

Then sit here.  Be sure to move forward on the seats as folks more through the queue.

Then, when it is your turn, give ‘Pat’ your card, and then ‘Pat’ cuts your hair cut.

Please obey the rules at all times.  Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.   Also, NO picture taking!

And, whoila!   Not as good, or as free, as Sydney’s mom, but ok enough for a Stockdale.

Dale Stockdale:   Do you like Singapore?

Crazy Little Stockdale:   No.

DS:   Why not?

CLS:   Because Sydney’s not here.

DS:   Is there anything you like about Singapore?

CLS:   No.

DS:   Why not?

CLS:    Because Alex and Avery isn’t here either.

DS:  Let me rephrase the question, is there ANYTHING you like in Singapore?

CLS:  Just the castles?

DS:  What castles?

CLS:  These castles (pointing out window) – these things we are in.

DS:   Do you like to ride in the taxis?

CLS:   Only the girl taxi?

DS:  Huh?

CLS:  Nothing else.  Can I go now?

I had hoped for a little more out of her.  That said, if this interview seems pointless and confusing, it was just as pointless and confusing for me.  Hence the reason she is called the ‘Crazy Little Stockdale.’  Maybe the other two will be a little more insightful ( or not ).

Saturday, Mrs. Stockdale and I were taken on a tour of the island by the relocation company that coordinated our move.  We really didn’t have high expectations for the whole endeavor.  We hoped it would be helpful, but also just thought it would be someone who drove us around and pointed out the post office, malls, and the grocery stores.   Gosh – golly were we wrong!

Valerie (the woman who lead our tour) was great!  She had lived in here years ago, then lived in various spots around the world, lived in Austin for a period of time, and was now back in Singapore.  We spent a little time seeing the basics ( grocery stores, shopping, etc. ) but the majority of the time was exploring the guts of Singapore and the numerous things to do just miles from our apartment.

Like a lot of folks, the Stockdales were guilty of being homebodies back in Kansas.  We had an easy life back there.  Great friends, great neighborhood, the country club, a yard to take care of , a minivan ( before it caught on fire ), and on and on.  However, there were countless things we never did that I regret.  I wish we would have caught a KU football game in Lawrence.  A few more Royals/Chiefs games would have been nice ( They remind me of the Reds and Bengals. ).  I never went to the NASCAR race.  We had the zoo pass, but only went a couple of times.   The Truman Museum, symphony, theatre, plays, concerts, even just varsity basketball games at the little Stockdale’s school.  The list goes on and on. 

In Singapore, I’m not sure we ever really understood what was here, even after our arrival.  We read a few books, but books never taught anyone anything.  ( That’s a fact, you can look it up. )  Over the last two months, the Stockdales haven’t been nearly as adventurous as we probably should have been.  Maybe you chalk this up to being new, the time it takes to get settled, or just laziness.   But, if you don’t start doing this at the beginning, when do you?   There were tons of things we should have done in Kansas and even Cincinnati for that matter.   Maybe if we would have been more active in the early days of KC, we would have gotten to more things on the list before we got tossed halfway around the world.

Whoever said you need to be a tourist in your own city was exactly right.   We moved to Singapore with the thought of travelling throughout Asia to see the sights.   However, after our tour, I’m not sure we need to.  There are plenty of sights here.  We couldn’t even come close to exhausting the list of restaurants, bars, shops, bike trails, beaches, brothels, bars, parks, bars, coffee shops or bars that we could visit without getting bored, diseased, or sober.  

The hardest part is trying to be a resident AND a tourist.  When you live someplace, you give up on exploring.  You assume you know where everything is and you stick to what you know.   The tourist is someone who is new.  Someone who likes to explore.  But, the tourist sticks out in his grey fleece and shorts in the middle of Winter.  No one really likes the tourist.   They are these temporary people who just get in the way of life for the locals ( who really know the place ). 

Maybe the lesson is that folks are all the same, wherever we go.  It’s easy to fall into what is convenient and comfortable.   To an extent the Stockdales have already fallen for this trap.  My primary goal has just been to keep us all ( me ) sane until school starts in August ( I’m playing golf today, not sure what the little Stockdales are doing, that is the Assistant’s issue. ).   I’m sure there are plenty of expats, and locals for that matter,  in Singapore that have really never ventured past their closest Starbucks or favorite ‘Fish Head Stew’ kiosk.   The Stockdales will hopefully do better.  Or, we could just sit here and eat more of the Assistant Stockdale’s mouth-watering biscuits.  Mmmmm, biscuits!

So, I got all the way home and let the little Stockdales polish off half the can before we noticed they weren’t really Pringles.

Someone in the legal department at P&G must be asleep.  I’m sure Mister Potato Crisp would crumble in court.  At least that’s the way they were in the can.

As many of you know, the little Stockdales and I have a favorite television show.  Without a doubt, the best show on Earth (I live in a foreign country, so I have the authority to make that judgement) is ‘Phineas and Ferb’ on The Disney Channel.  If you’ve never seen an episode, stop watching complete trash like ‘Breaking Bad’ and start watching some quality programming.  S.I.M.P!

Now, I’ve always wondered how they determined there are  ‘104 Days of Summer Vacation’?  Really, what kid gets 104 days of Summer vacation.  They get out in mid/late May (14 days), then all of June (30 days), then all of July (31 days), then a couple weeks in August (17 days).   

14+30+31+17 = 92 days of Summer vacation

Sure, there is some play in that number.  Maybe the kids go a little earlier or later in May, maybe they go the last week of August, but 104 is a long Summer vacation.  

Unless, you are the Stockdales!  We got to Singapore on May 3, that leaves 28 days.  When you add the 30 days in June and the 31 days in July and the 15 days in August (the little Stockdales start on August 16), it adds up to 104 of Summer Vacation!

With a putter, I’m a hole in one machine!

This is one of the guys I played cricket with on Sunday.

Just like the great Natt Nurphy, he didn’t spill a drop.  He also didn’t get up for about 10 minutes.