Saturday night, Mrs. Stockdale and I went to ‘Beerfest Asia.’  No need to get a babysitter, we already had one.  Not sure what we’re doing, but we have a sitter for next weekend too.  We also have a sitter for right now and twenty minutes from now.  If I haven’t mentioned the sheer awesomeness of the ‘Assistant Stockdale’, let me tell you, she’s awesome!  If people think America is a country full of fat and lazy oafs, I can’t imagine what we’d be like if we all had helpers.  

The 8:00 am cricket game on Sunday was a little fuzzy, but I was on time and that was better than most.

On a side note, my attendance at ‘Beerfest Asia’ lit a fire under me to get ‘Mr. Beer’ going.  More on that later this week.

Since we arrived in Singapore, Mrs. Stockdale and I have each lost about 10 pounds.  ( It’s a different number if you convert it to kilograms, but I was told this country would have no math. )

Now, this weight loss isn’t due to the fabulous Asian diet of fresh seafood or lots of locally grown fruits and vegetables (nothing is grown on this island).   It also isn’t because we’ve been working out more.  Yes, I’m training for Ironman Arizona, but I gained weight training for my last big race.  ( If you ride a bike for six hours, the proper way to refuel is five beers and a pint of ice cream.  You’ve earned it! )

No, this weight loss is based on the ‘too cheap to eat’ diet.   When beer is $15 a six-pack, screw top wine is $20 a bottle, a bag of pretzels is $9, and chickens have extra parts, you find yourself altering  your nutritional habits.  Instead of snacking, I drink water.  Nothing fills up like a big glass of water when you’re really craving some chocolate chip cookies before bedtime.   What, no potato chips in the pantry?  Oooh look – water!  How about a Coors Light or a Warsteiner?  Nope!  Yum, water, the snack of the Gods.   Tomorrow night for dessert, maybe I’ll let the little Stockdales make ice.

So, evening television in Singapore isn’t quite what it was back in the States.  If we were home on a random Tuesday night, we’d watch ‘Deadliest Catch’, Wednesday was ‘Mythbusters’, and so on.  Even if there was nothing on, there were enough random episodes of ‘Pawn Stars’, ‘American Pickers’, ‘Man versus Food’, and ‘Diners Drive-Ins and Dives’ recorded in the DVR to keep Mrs. Stockdale happy until she fell asleep on the couch at 8:40, if she even made it that late.

So far over here, I’ve yet to uncover any real rhyme or reason to what comes on day to day.  Even though we have cable with all/most of the western channels, it’s just the same pile of nothing every night.  At least in the States, there was a different pile of nothing every night. 

Yes, we have the Slingbox set up in Norwood, Ohio and it works great, but it is best for watching a specific show, not channel surfing.  At 7:00 am, I watch the Reds games, but to hunt around to see what is on in the evening, it isn’t much fun.

But, this isn’t the purpose of this post.  Really I just wanted to pass on a great show that I recommend you find back there.  Shortly after we got here and discovered the lack of quality evening entertainment, we bought the DVDs for ‘Breaking Bad’.  The basic premise is that a high school chemistry teacher gets lung cancer, so he starts selling meth to earn money to pay for his treatments and take care of his family.  It’s kind of a dark comedy, kind of a drama.  If you were a Sopranos fan, you’ll probably like this.  If you’d like to borrow the DVDs, just pop by and we’ll be happy to lend them out.

In Singapore, when you buy a whole chicken, you buy a whole chicken.

For some reason, I’ve always wanted to play cricket.  The first time I saw a game was on Mrs. Stockdale and my honeymoon in Bermuda, which was years and years and years and years ago.  Ever since then, I’ve always had it in the back of my mind that should the opportunity every present itself, I’d like to give it a try.

Last week, while doing nothing around the apartment, (because the Assistant Stockdale was doing everything else) I decided to search out a way to play the game.  The first place I found was called ‘The Singapore Cricket Club.’  It is the second oldest club in Singapore and after Mrs. Stockdale asked around at the office about the group, I quickly learned that a schmoe like Dale Stockdale probably wouldn’t be permitted within 43.9 meters of the joint.  Even if they did let me in, I’d never have time to go because I’d have to return to work in order to afford it.

However, whoever informed Mrs. Stockdale that ‘The Singapore Cricket Club’ was a tad out of my league, told her about ANZA, which stands for ‘Australia and New Zealand Association’.   If ‘The Singapore Cricket Club’ is full of a bunch of upper crust bluebloods who drink single malt scotch and smoke cigars, ANZA is a bunch of guys who drink PBR at 8:00 in the morning.

Cricket is played like intramural softball over here and probably anywhere else in the world that has, or has had, a British influence.  There are various leagues for various players at various levels.  I contacted someone on the ANZA website who asked me to join them on Saturday afternoon for their weekly game.   I think they were short of people and desperate for a warm body.  On a good day, I qualify as just that.

Learning to play cricket is exactly like learning to play euchre.  Just when you think you’re starting to figure things out, everyone just throws in their cards for no apparent reason.  The ‘left Bauer’ and ‘right Bauer’ are replaced with the ‘wicket’ and the ‘over’.  Plus, don’t let the ball hit your legs and bowling the ball just looks like a controlled fall.  There are definitely some aspects of baseball in there.  Or maybe, more appropriately, there are some aspects of cricket in baseball.  My guess is that cricket is older, but we Americans have never been big on history, so who cares.

If you’ve ever taken anyone who is new to baseball to a game and they complain about it being slow, introduce them to cricket.  Baseball moves at the speed of light compared to cricket.  A regular old intramural game is scheduled to run 5 hours.  I don’t understand how, but they refer to professional cricket having ‘5 Day’ matches.  It’s really only slow half the time, but half of a lot is still a long time.  Basically, one team bats and the other team fields.  Once all 11 guys on the first team have gotten ‘out’, then you take a break, then the other team bats.  The second team to bat, then has to try to beat the score of the first team.  So, for half the game you sit there and wait for your turn to bat, and then for half the game you stand in the blistering sun and sweat in white polyester pants.

This probably goes without saying, but after the game is over, you go out for beer.

They invited me back to play again next Sunday morning.  I must have done a great job at that warm body thing.

Got our first care package from Mrs. Stockdale’s folks today.  Really, this is stuff we should have bought before we left, but oh well.  

The little Stockdales love parmesan.  Each one of those containers would cost over $40 here, if you could even find that much ‘cheese’  in one store.

The sad part is that it cost $125 to ship all this over and it was still cheaper to do it this way, rather than buying all this junk locally.  If your kids want to watch either of the ‘Alvin and the Chipmunks’ movies, send ’em over!

Played golf yesterday.  It was nice to get out and talk to another adult that wasn’t Mrs. Stockdale.

Also, my old boss from the valve days was in Singapore on business.  Met him for dinner.  His expense account bought me a big cheeseburger, onion rings, and a couple good beers.  Thank you Karl!

After a couple hiccups getting her out of the Philipines, the Assistant Stockdale is finally here.  

The initial impression?  

How ever amazing you think it would be to have someone do virtually all your daily household chores, you couldn’t even come close to how amazing it really is!   This morning our bed was made 5 minutes after I woke up.  You ask for a cup of coffee and guess what magically appears?  What little food that is in our pantry, is organized and straight.  If she runs of out stuff to do, she dusts or plays with the kids.  She is still getting up to speed on cooking, but even if her food is terrible, it’s still better than letting Mrs. Stockdale cook.

There are downsides.  We lose some privacy.  Also, it skews the expectations of the little Stockdales for when we eventually head back to the States.  Plus, it’s just plain odd to have someone living in a closet in our kitchen.  But, all kidding aside, she is really nice, works super hard,  and we are happy to have her in our home.

In the United States, you  have basements and garages.   In Singapore, we have unused guest bathroom showers.

Because it’s smart to bring five sets of golf clubs 10,000 miles.  If you look closely, it also makes sense to bring four lacrosse sticks, a fly fishing rod, and a duffle bag full of long sleeve shirts, sweaters, and sweatshirts.

I’m paying our American Expres bill for last month.  Between May 4 and May 28, I went to the grocery store 19 times.   Every trip was on foot.  If anyone has a spare right hand drive minivan, feel free to ship it over.   The Stockdales will gladly take it off your hands.